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Ann Patchett's Bad Novel

 Ann Patchett is well-read, and occasionally, in her new novel, she seems to be borrowing from Dickens. These moments are the highpoints of the novel. They involve Abigail, an aging mom, and her current husband, Ekker.


Dickens understood that there is a place for amusing but "flat" characters. Static characters who catch your attention. Gargoyles. In Patchett's current work, Ekker is a failed writer of "positivity manuals." ("Bounce on your feet as you brush your teeth! Feel the blood start to flow through your body!") ....After the eighties positivity craze faded, Ekker began to flounder. Now, he is drowning in bitterness, determined to mount a comeback. He cannot hear anyone around him. His sole conversational subject is the series of steps needed for a publishing rebirth. His stepdaughter is a teacher--couldn't she include the positivity manuals on her syllabus?

Abigail is similarly captivating. She insists on being included in a particular event--then complains that the event will be "hard for me." She keeps everyone waiting as she prepares--then asks, with exasperation, "Well, are you all finally ready?" She tells one man, "Drop your gayness, and I'll marry you." She imagines that this arrangement might work out.

Unfortunately, no one else in Patchett's novel is memorable. Everyone speaks in dazzling, carefully arranged paragraphs. The major players are relentlessly kind to one another. There is something smug in Patchett's fiction--it's particularly notable here, where the author often seems to be saying, "I have all the answers. Just stick with me, and I'll comfort you." Who on Earth has time for that?

I think Patchett's career would benefit from a major disruption. Something to shake the writer out of her complacency. "Whistler" is a rare work to generate "pan" reviews--I have counted 2.5. Add me to that chorus. The author of "Truth and Beauty" still exists somewhere within Patchett--it's time to wake up.
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