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Dad Diary

 "You have to be controlling and obnoxious. People who are nice with the school district do not get what they need."


This is advice from the neurologist. And I have very little difficulty being controlling and obnoxious. In Zoom meetings, I have been described--by my spouse--as "frightening."

My child's teacher has just quit her job. This is the third time it's happened to my son. Now, cosmically, this is not a big deal. I like to think of the Ruthie Ann Miles Test. Ruthie Ann Miles is an actor who was walking with her family in Park Slope one day. A car jumped the curb--struck Miles's daughter--murdered the child (and also aborted Miles's pregnancy, because Miles herself was additionally within the impact zone). And Miles brushed off the dust and continued with her life. I think, if you're Ruthie Ann Miles, you can complain. Otherwise, things are essentially fine.

But the district doesn't need to know that I have this philosophy. The district can believe that I'm enraged--my child's teacher left without even writing a short note. (If you ask me, almost anyone who is not literally dead is capable of writing a short note.)

In times of confusion, Anne Lamott tells herself, "More will be revealed." It's a useful thought. More will be revealed. I'm almost sure of it.
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