Liars and Saints

 Season Nine of "The Simpsons" is special because of "Kicking It: The Betty Ford Musical." This is a spoof that appears in "The City of New York Versus Homer Simpson." Marge wants to travel to 42nd Street. "I've always dreamed of being in an audience in a Broadway show." The musical she selects features a young Justin Bieberesque ne'er-do-well: No more pills or alcohol-- No more pot or Demerol-- No more stinkin' fun at all! I'm CHECKING IN. One might think this is broad satire--but what is brilliant is that "Checking In" features the *exact* "tier" of writing quality that you could expect in a contemporary Broadway musical not authored by Stephen Sondheim. This is the opening of "Wild," a song that is considered a standout in "The Lost Boys": I remember how it used to be... Times were innocent, and love was free. We'd play guitar and dance... Singing...GIVE PEACE A CHANCE! (Frankly, I pr...

  "The Big Orange Splot" is the story of Mr. Plumbean, who dreams of owning a pet alligator. One day, a seagull visits and spills orange paint on Plumbean's house. ("No one knew why the gull was carrying paint.") Suddenly freed from the demands of conformity, Plumbean begins to realize his dream. He acquires his alligator. (The details of the acquisition are omitted.) At times, the alligator sits like a cat under Plumbean's hammock. At other times, the alligator "basks"; he gets on his back and stretches his webbed toes toward the sky. As in "Grey Gardens," the central pair in "The Big Orange Splot" becomes more and more fond of eccentricity. Mr. Plumbean plants "baobabs, onions, and frangipani." He constructs a clock tower and paints it with rainbow colors. This book seems to be a spiritual godparent to "Extra Yarn," by Jon Klassen. For me, the highlight is the basking alligator.

 In my family, there is great fondness for Pete Buttigieg. Those half-whispered cool-as-ice takedowns on CNN and Fox News. The slightly embarrassing obsession he has with "the Dave Matthews Band." We sometimes listen multiple times to "Buttigieg sound bytes"--as if we're replaying (and re-replaying) a Whitney Houston riff. We really enjoyed his recent personal essay. A personal essay from Pete Buttigieg! He had been targeted by a right-wing nut. Someone made a false claim to Child Protection Services--and Buttigieg was forcibly separated from his family and required to stay in a hotel overnight. Buttigieg is not Nora Ephron; the essay is not overflowing with glittery observations. But it is plainspoken, and I imagine it has helped to "open" many, many eyes. The Pete Buttigieg philosophy seems to be "keep calm and carry on." I'm sometimes able to listen--but not on Sunday nights, when I inevitably feel anxious and choose (unwisely) to eat ...

  Matthew Quick has just written his first memoir--and it's notable. Sometimes a memoir can seem guarded or self-serving, but Quick lets it all hang out. Having written "Silver Linings Playbook," Quick anticipates a Hollywood career. He writes some screenplays. Nothing goes anywhere. He finds himself blocked. This coincides with a period of bad eating and excessive drinking--until Quick no longer recognizes himself. He begins to consider suicide. As Quick struggles to pull himself together, he considers the life of a compelling secondary character, his own father. Quick Senior has severe panic attacks. He disrupts a theatrical performance because he believes he has dropped his wallet; he begins shouting at the ushers. Once the wallet is retrieved, he cannot offer thanks. Having started to succumb to senility, Senior begins ranting about his wife. If she visits the grandkids for one night, it must mean that she has opted for a divorce. Senior also shuts down in terror when...

  Thinking about "Hadestown," I feel it's hard not to see a debt to "Cabaret." (In fact, the leading lady of "Hadestown" went on to become the leading lady in the recent revival of "Cabaret.") Kander and Ebb took the Rodgers and Hammerstein template--two braided stories of romance--and did something disturbing. In an R&H show, we expect at least one romantic storyline (Maria/Georg, Forbush/Emile) to work out. Kander and Ebb asked, What if *both* storylines are just brutally sad? It's a grand tradition to let the supporting players upstage the leads. Persephone is more interesting than Eurydice. We fall for Ado Annie; we are less captivated by Laurey. For me, the heart of "Cabaret" is Fraulein Schneider. She is more moving than Sally Bowles. This is because--for Fraulein Schneider--love is more of a surprise. Her plainspoken words are impressive: The old despair that was often there-- Suddenly ceases to be. For you wake--one ...

  I started watching "Mindhunter" for Jonathan Groff, but it's Holt McCallany who is holding my attention. HM plays Bill Tench, whose problems are among the strangest I've seen on any TV series. Tench's little adopted son is difficult to "reach." But the son is watchful--and he is aware that his father drafts profiles of serial killers. There are photos of mangled corpses in the house. During Season Two, the dead body of a toddler is discovered on "Tench terrain"--it's found within a house that Mrs. Tench is trying to sell. It turns out that (allegedly) some kids were playing rough with the toddler--and the toddler died by accidental suffocation. The Tench boy--an observer (not a participant)--then thought it would be smart to crucify the toddler on a wooden plank. Maybe--like Jesus--the toddler would come back to life. (Parts of this make me recall the death of the boy Garrett Phillips in Potsdam, NY. There have been rumors about the invol...

  In my childhood, I had a coffee table book about the history of Broadway. The part that stunned me was a segment on Hal Prince. Having taken on "Cabaret," Prince constructed massive mirrors--mirrors that would "confront" the audience. Thus the members of the audience would stare at themselves throughout the night. Prince was saying: "Don't think you can detach yourself. You likely would have been complicit in history--if you were wearing Sally Bowles's shoes." Twisted little boy that I was, I also felt drawn to "Night, Mother." Every evening, Kathy Bates would announce her intention to commit suicide. Two hours would pass. Then, Bates would commit suicide--the end of the evening was (also) the end of her life. I had this book before I "found" Sondheim. Something in the DNA told me, You should just pay attention to this information about Liza Minnelli and Pearl Bailey. And the stats about Zero Mostel. If you're very young, ...